Define Self Trust

I’m sensing a theme in the first few episodes of the Podcast…last post was on Self Awareness and the next one is actually on Self Acceptance. If you haven’t listened to Michelle’s episode I highly recommend it.

What is Self-Trust and Why Do I Care?

Self-trust is an important facet of self-acceptance. Cynthia Wall, author of The Courage to Trust: A Guide To Building Deep And Lasting Relationships, say this about the trait:

“Self-trust means that you can take care of your needs and safety. It means you trust yourself to survive situations, and practice kindness, not perfection. It means you refuse to give up on yourself”.

Self-trust means that you can take care of your needs and safety. It means you trust yourself to survive situations, and practice kindness, not perfection. It means you refuse to give up on yourself.

cynthia wall

With that kind of definition I don’t know how you can’t care. The ability to continually invest and show kindness to yourself it really difficult, especially as we try to become more self aware.

How to Develop Self-Trust

1. Speak Kindly to Yourself – This doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be critical of what we’re doing and why, it means we need to have compassion on ourselves when we fall short of where we want to be.
2. Know Your Emotions Are Important – All of them. Understand why they’re there and don’t just shove them down. This one in particular has been difficult for me (I would rather be a robot than have to deal with feelings most of the time) but the more I’ve tried to understand what has caused an emotional reaction the easier it is for me to address.
3. Ask How You’re Doing – Michelle mentions in her interview that she had to set a timer to check in with herself every 15 minutes when she started trying to narrow down if she was doing something she actually wanted to or not. This takes time, setting a timer is a great way to start practicing.
4. Boundaries – Setting boundaries, and knowing you’re setting the right ones, is key. If you trust that you’re doing the right thing it’s easier to do. If you have no idea on how to get started I HIGHLY recommend reading Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I read this during the divorce process and it made that whole experience so much easier.

Is there anything else that you recommend to help develop self-trust?