Define Being Seen

As I started working on this post, the original title was ‘Define Compassion’. But if you listened to the Define Christie episode, you know that she mentioned Being Seen (and seeing others) as her main goal multiple times. Yes, this is a part of compassion. To stay true to her main message though I’ll be focusing on being seen and seeing others.

See the light in others and treat them as if that is all you see.

Dr Wayne Dyer

I love the quote listed above, “See the light in others and treat them as if that is all you see.” That’s great and seeing others is a crucial part of the Being Seen concept, but you can’t see other’s well if you don’t see yourself first.

How to See Yourself

Again, I HIGHLY recommend listening to the Define Christie episode. She did a great job of explaining how she saw herself after 12 years of striving for perfection. I’ll do my best to cover the energy of what she expressed here.

It’s interesting to see how this meshes into the last three episodes. In order to be able to see yourself you need to be self aware, trust what you’re seeing, and accept who you are. I love seeing these things work together. If you haven’t tuned into those episodes/posts here is a quick exercise that Christie recommends to get started on seeing yourself:

Look in a mirror.

For real. Look in a mirror, take out a notebook, and write what you see. Now let me be VERY clear. This is not meant to be a beat myself up exercise. Go into a mental space where you can see yourself clearly and with kindness and then do this exercise if this has been difficult to do in the past. If you need some help with that have someone stand by you and list the things they see. Again, if they’re normally a jerk I wouldn’t have them do this with you. Just write what you see about yourself and your life right then.

If you don’t like what you see, again not in a beat up way a genuine I need to shift way, write down what and why.

I didn’t do the mirror exercise but a month ago I got a great job, one that I was hoping to get 2 or 3 years from now. It was and is a huge opportunity and I am incredibly grateful I have it. But something was off. I felt this sense of motivation disappear. I’m an ambitious person, especially at work, and here I was moving forward to something I’ve worked towards for a long time.

But something was off. I took time to figure it out, what was with the sudden decrease in drive?

I had been living my life as if my purpose was my work success. Now this is still a part of who I am, but since I had hit what I thought was an ultimate goal, and what I assumed would increase my drive further, I felt deflated because now that I had what I thought I always wanted I realized it wasn’t. So what now?

Now that I had what I thought I always wanted I realized it wasn’t. So what now?


After taking some time to figure out what the heck has been going on I realized that I felt off because although I had accomplished something huge, I could finally allow myself it realize that I had been neglecting the other aspects of my life. I hadn’t made any goals around being a mom or getting married again. After taking the time to understand why I was off, I was able to make goals in other aspects of my life and have felt way more balanced since then.

So take time to see yourself. If you feel a little off balance, even if nothing seems wrong in your life, you may just be neglecting a part of who you are that needs attention.

How to See Others

I found a lot of fairly practical advice on how to see others (give compliments, share thoughts, serve, etc) but Christie actually hit the nail on the head in her interview when I asked this question.

She said he set an intention every morning to be able to see others. If we ask for the ability to see others we’ll be on the look out for opportunities to do so. After that it’s just habit.

What has helped you be able to see yourself more clearly? What has allowed you to see others?

Published by Kaili Speaks

As the podcast host of Define, Kaili has the opportunity to chat with people about their defining moment and what they learned from it. In two-part episodes she dives into personal stories and then into the behavioral science and the logistics of how to use those traits and experiences to help us see each other in a different light. If you are wanting to learn more about what defines the people around you, tune in and learn more about how to apply these traits into your own life. 

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