Define Self Love

Isn’t it crazy that when I searched studies on self love most of the articles were how to practice it? Why on earth do we have to practice something that should come to us naturally. When did we teach ourselves that we weren’t worthy of it?

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth, don’t let it be you.

mel robins

I found a lot of studies and health benefits to loving yourself but honestly the more I was researching the more pissed off I got. Because all I could think of was the amazing people I have met and talked to you have NO CONCEPT of how incredible they are.

So first of all…I don’t care who is listening to this…you’re amazing. Throughout your life and all of its challenges you need to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are.

Seriously take out a pen and paper and write down the great things about you and if you pull the “I’m not as bad as you could be” crap I’m going to reach through your headphones/speaker and smack you. I don’t care if it’s one thing. Do it.

Ok cool now that you have come up with at least one thing write down two more. Then two more after that. Now five more. Really think about it, even go through what people have said to you in the past. You are incredible and it’s ridiculous that you have lived a second of your life thinking you’re not.

Being confident in who you are is not delusional. We are all growing and will make mistakes for the rest of existence. The important thing is not to get swallowed up by the things we aren’t and celebrate the things we are more than we ever have.

Alright rant over. Here are some other ways to help you see yourself in a more loving way:


I love this YouTube video. Radiating gratitude and confidence for herself and everything in her life.

If you can’t start with something you love about you start with something you love about your life and work your way up from there.

To help you get going on the self love a lot of recommendations I found were on mantras and meditation. First of all, I’m a huge fan of meditation and my kids and I have it as part of our nighttime routine. It winds down the day in a good way and can help you focus on things you normally struggle with. So find a self love meditation to get started and meditate to it every night.

The other thing to start with is a mantra. Now before you roll your eyes at this, having a mantra can help bring you back to a base. Although I don’t chant one every day I’ve had a wallpaper (made by my friend Kinzie Madsen, she has a bunch on her Instagram and she radiates self love better than anyone I know) that has helped boost me during major times of self doubt. Definitely follow her btw she’s awesome.

At the end of the day you deserve to be proud of who you are. Be kind. Be grateful. And keep moving forward.

Published by Kaili Speaks

As the podcast host of Define, Kaili has the opportunity to chat with people about their defining moment and what they learned from it. In two-part episodes she dives into personal stories and then into the behavioral science and the logistics of how to use those traits and experiences to help us see each other in a different light. If you are wanting to learn more about what defines the people around you, tune in and learn more about how to apply these traits into your own life. 

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